Sunday, September 20, 2009

How Do You ...

Manage people who have a problem committing to what they tell you? I have tried to analyse this and I personally feel that if they don't value what they tell you, then they more than likely do not value what they tell themselves to do either. These people usually find themselves never really accomplishing what they want to do because they tell themselves to do it but they don't drive themselves to accomplish the task they set out to do. Their dream stays as just a dream. There's a saying that goes, "well done is better than well said", which I think is very applicable in such a situation.

In life, I'm sure we've all been through this category before at least once in life. I know I have. Some of us have chosen for change. Some of us choose to remain this way. I've recently had an encounter myself with someone like that. My take on this is: It starts to hurt too much when you care too much. You realise you want to sill give them your trust on their words, and the benefit of the doubt, but it becomes hard when each time you do, you end up disappointed.

I recently attended this interesting seminar and the speaker said "change can occur in an instant". At first it sounds absurd... I say that because most people in the seminar did not vote in agreement with that statement. The more popular vote was that "a leopard can never change it's spots". But in my own life experience, change did occur in an instant. I started to ask myself "If this can happen to me, then this can happen to anyone else too." Anyone can change in an instant. That is true.

According to what I can remember from that seminar, there are two ingredients needed for this instantaneous change to occur - pain and threshold. All of us have been through painful experiences or moments in life... so why do some choose to change but others choose to remain where they are even though it may be painful? That's because the pain they experience is not painful enough for them to have hit their threshold for them to desperately need a change. They want to change.. but they don't need it. They are still able to accept things as they are in life even though they complain about it.

It's very interesting... change can happen through different ways I guess. But change takes time - in each individual's own time. It is true that no one can force another to change. But when a person wants to change, it happens in an instant. So how do you then manage, when it's with someone you know and care about? This answer came to me while writing...

To wait patiently.

Humans are amusing....

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